Experts say that drowning isn’t the loud splashy event portrayed in movies. Often, the victim simply slides quietly beneath the surface and is lost.
In First Aid, they teach that deadly choking doesn’t involve
gagging and sputtering, but is totally silent, and often goes unnoticed until
it’s too late.
Those nearby when these losses happen are often plagued by doubt and guilt –
questioning why they didn’t notice, imagining that they could have saved the
victim, if they had just been paying attention.
So too, with suicide. Often it’s not the one who threatens it, or makes
frequent pitiful noises, who falls victim; but the one who has kept a brave face,
who has been strong for others – always putting them first. Then one day—depleted—there is simply no more
air.
In the aftermath, friends, family, coworkers, people who have known
the victim—often for years—are left to wonder how they didn’t
see it coming. What could they have done? Could he have been saved if only
we had seen through the cheerful patina to the struggling soul
within? Often the answer is that there was no outward sign - no way to know, or to help, but the painful questions persist.
