When looking for new friends, seek out those with whom you
share positive interests – things you love; be it sports, hiking,
photography, opera, whatever. Over time, you
are likely to find other things you love.
These may be woven into the fabric of the friendship, or not, but the
foundation will still be the shared interest in the positive – and you will
think positively when you think of each other.
If you instead find friends with whom your shared interest
is something you hate, or that makes you angry, you will learn to hate and be
angry together. You’ll meet and spend
time with other people who are angry; and that will become your social norm. You’ll associate one another with anger, and will certainly one day will find yourself in the cross-hairs of the other's anger.
This is not to say that one should never discuss social justice, unmet needs, or things which make us angry. There is much injustice in the world – much to be angry
about. But we need to take care that we not become consumed by righteous
indignation, anger, or—further along the slippery slope—hatred. Once these become a habit, they become an end
in themselves, and will not be dislodged by the positive - even if the underlying cause of the anger is resolved.
Nietzsche had a great take on this:
Nietzsche had a great take on this:
Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process
he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the
abyss will gaze back into you.
