Teaching Tolerance

The only effective way to teach tolerance is by example.

Matching intolerance with intolerance feels good - really good. Public humiliation is particularly satisfying. If the goal is to condemn, and to prove one's superiority, this approach is very effective.

But if one hopes to win a soul, rather than condemn it, there is a better way. Humiliating a person—however justified it may feel—ends the conversation, alienates them, and destroys any opportunity for influence.

Facts can be argued, but feelings are always valid, whether based on legitimate facts, or on prejudice and misinformation. Feelings are not changed—at least not for the better—by humiliation or intellectual intimidation; but by the gradual building of trust.

Seek first to understand how this individual came to believe what he or she does. Look for points of commonality – however remote they may seem. If none are found, there may be no choice but to agree to disagree; but you are no poorer for the effort. But if one reaches even a point or two of understanding, those points may form the cornerstone upon which and incredible shared understanding can be built.