Unnecessary Euphemisms

I come from a family of non-cussers.  Mostly non-drinkers as well, so I suppose it’s been my responsibility to make up for their deficiencies in both of these areas. 

I find it compelling—in a literary sense at least (I’m not a mean person in real life)to push a non-cusser to profanity.  They mess it up, either as a result of inexperience, or by hedging their bets, and it comes out in the form of awkward semi-euphemisms.  Here are a couple I’ve come up with so far:

‘Hush the fuck up!’

‘I hope you burn in H – E – Double-Hockeysticks!’