A Dream of Maddie

Dear Maddie,

There really isn't much to the dream I had the other morning, but what there is, I want to share with you.  I know you don't like the mushy stuff, so I'm sending this to you in a form that you can't access until after the weekend, when I'm not standing right there.  

You, Mom and I were in the master bedroom at Mom’s house, at the corner of the bed.  I was holding you in my arms—not up against my chest, but holding you out a little bit, so I could see your face—and Mom was standing next to me.  You were about the age you were in this picture, maybe a little younger – but at the same time, you were also the age you are now. 

I was telling Mom how strange it seemed that even though you are almost sixteen, I’m seeing you as a baby, and I can hold you in my arms like this.  I asked her if she saw you the same way, or as you are today.  She didn't answer, but just looked at you with love.  I couldn't take my eyes off of you, for risk that the moment would end; afraid that if I looked away, you’d be all grown up.  In my dream I looked in your eyes and told you that I love you more than I ever knew I could love anybody. You just looked back at me and smiled with that sweet smile you had when you were a baby – and that you still have. 

That was about the time I woke up.  I noticed there were tears in my eyes – not big weepy tears, but soft, light tears of happiness; happiness that baby Maddie visited for that moment in my dream; and that Mom and I have been blessed all these years with you in our lives. 

What I told you in my dreams is what I hold in my heart.  You are an amazing, beautiful young woman; a wonderful human being.  As much as Mom and I would love to take some of the credit for that reality, you have always been very much your own person - creature in charge of her own journey; our role has just been to not get in the way as your beautiful potential becomes reality. 

I do love you, and treasure every moment we share – when we’re happy with one another, and at those times when you're just trying to tolerate my proximity.  I knew I would love being a Dad; but thanks to you, it is much better than I ever could have imagined.  The most treasured birthday present I could hope to receive, I get from you every day.  

Love,

Dad