Sunday, March 29, 2015

Ron Shepherd

I’m not really good with names, and Ron’s is no exception. Though I like and admire him, we weren't that close – just friends at church. And because of the way I knew him, there was never a need to know his last name – he was always half of Ron-and-Charlotte, which is description enough. Of the dozens of times I saw Ron, there were only a couple times she was not there. Though they had been married a long time, you'd hardly know it; they were almost always linked by touch; holding hands, or with Ron’s arm around her – so they seemed in a way to be a single entity.

When I met them, Charlotte had already been facing cancer for some time. For a while, it was in remission, but it returned. They faced it courageously; they faced it together. Funny – though she relied on strength from Ron, it sometimes seemed that—in all but her weakest moments—she lent him as much strength as he did her. They were a perfect couple; both of them brilliant; with her discipline a wonderful complement to his flights of imagination.

It seemed that the drive to help her survive and beat the cancer gave purpose to him. And, as much as she wanted to survive for survival’s sake, she also wanted to survive to help him achieve his purpose.

Charlotte passed away three years ago, and since then, I've only seen Ron once or twice. I don’t know if he couldn't face attending church with people like me, who only knew him as part of a pair, or if there was some other reason. But he disappeared from our lives.

You often hear about older couples who have lived their whole lives together, and simply don’t have the capacity to go on alone. I have a number of friends whose parents passed away within months of one another. It’s not something I associate with people my own age – but then I know few people my age who have been married for over thirty years, then lose their partner.

We said goodbye to Ron today.

I will not need to memorize Ron’s last name now. They are Ron-and-Charlotte again, and the embrace in which they shelter one another now will never end.

At Ron’s service a woman performed this medley. She said it was one of Ron’s favorite songs.