Happiness - With Conditions

Why do we delay happiness for the future - when some perceived obstacle is removed; we’ll be happy as soon as we get in shape, lose some weight, get a promotion, learn a new skill – maybe get married to ‘Prince Charming’, or ditch the creep who turn out to not be so charming?  

Maybe we think about how much happier we will be after a knee replacement or two.  

But, as with many things, happiness is a habit - a learned skill, which requires practice.  It’s great to have goals, but if we don’t train for happiness now, we won't sharpen those skills, and may not get good at it. If we're not actively looking, we may not see opportunities along the way, and are less likely to be ready to fully embrace happiness when our obstacle is removed.  When we practice happiness on the little things along the way, we are better prepared to more fully enjoy its rewards.  

We may even find that the obstacle was only in our minds all along. 

Polish Constitution Day

I discovered Polish Constitution Day almost by accident three years ago, when I was visiting my friends Kris Wadolkowski, and his lovely wife Helen at the beginning of May.  We celebrated together, with their next-door neighbor (who was also flying the colors) in the traditional manner - with Zubrowka Bison Grass Vodka.  

Since that day, Celebrating this annual holiday has been sort of a fun thing for me - something to share with my friends, whether in person, or virtually.  

This year, though, it has deeper meaning to me.  The Poles share a tortured history with other Slavic people, of repression beneath the boots of a succession of Russian overlords, from the Czars, to the Bolsheviks, and now the totalitarian Putin regime. When Ukraine was invaded this winter, Poland opened their borders to their brother and sister Slavs - hosting as many as five million Ukrainian refugees.

So this Tuesday, when I raise my glass of Zubrowka, it will not be just for fun; it will be in loving, heartfelt memory of the generations of patriots who have given their last full measure of devotion, so that their children can live free of foreign domination, educate their children in their own languages, and not be conscripted to fight for a repressive foreign tyrant.   

Moth & Lightbulb - revised

I was drawn to her like a moth to a front-porch lightbulb on a summer evening—not one of those cold, efficient compact fluorescent lights, or an even more efficient dimmable LED light, that is super bright, but emits no heat, but an old-fashioned 100 watt soft-white bulbous incandescent, that pulls you into increasingly tight spirals, then quick-fries you at the touch of the sizzling orb—my ardor only intensified the knowledge that government regulations and evolving consumer preferences would soon render this simile quaint and obscure.  

Sarah MacLachlan Songs - Complicated

If I were to describe my relationship with Sarah MacLachlan’s music, I’d default to ‘It’s complicated’.  Some of her songs—particularly this one—make me feel good about being a man, and want to be a better man; worthy of being one who can instill these kinds of feelings of security and fulfillment within such a beautiful heart.  Knowing it’s out there to be found motivates me to keep searching.    

But then the song ends, and one of her raw, wounded songs comes on, bringing me face to face with the path of emotional destruction men can sow through a woman’s heart—with mixed messages, half-hearted commitment, or just general obliviousness—and I’m filled with vicarious remorse (maybe not always so vicarious), and think maybe it’s better to not risk it; safer to ‘just be friends’.   

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiztEYuNcuU&list=RDYiztEYuNcuU&start_radio=1

Self Love

Self love is a powerful, fundamental force for good; 

It's important, though, that we don't make the relationship exclusive. 

Henry V and the Self-Governing

… 

“If we are mark'd to die, we are enough

To do our country loss; and if to live,

The fewer men, the greater share of honour.

…

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;

For he to-day that sheds his blood with me

Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,

This day shall gentle his condition;

And gentlemen in England now a-bed

Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,

And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks

That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.” - William Shakespeare (Henry V, Act IV)

Saint Crispin's Day greetings to all!  In keeping with my annual tradition, I watched Henry V again this year.  

His army is outnumbered five-to-one against mounted knights, who hold the high ground.  But Henry just explains that it's actually a good thing that they are outnumbered, since it means they will each enjoy a 'greater share of honor' when they fight together against those kind of odds--to help their king gain a little real estate on the continent--and that 'gentlemen in England now abed, will think themselves accursed they were not here.'  it's a great movie, and this speech sets up the climactic battle.  It's easy for me to get caught up in his infectious enthusiasm ... as I sit in my warm comfy living room. 

St. Crispins Day Speech

On the other hand, as an American, I align more with Dennis, as regards English royalty.   

Monte Python - Dennis

Don't You Just Love People? 9/11 Twenty-Year Post

Don’t you just love people?  They’re GREAT!

I’m not back on Facebook―at least not yet.  I just wanted to share this sentiment.  I got to enjoy a fruitful day; a few domestic chores, and a bit of social time; most importantly a chance to be a Father to a Daughter who continues to delight me.  

I enjoy these moments, while holding in my heart those whose lives were cut short twenty years ago, and those loved ones we have lost since.  I hope that the best way we can honor their memory is by living our lives with a full heart, in the way they might have hoped to live theirs.